GUT CHECK: How to assess your abortion decision.
There are infinite reasons that someone may seek to end their pregnancy. So many personal factors weigh into this. Are you in a context that will nurture and support your pregnancy for the duration of the 9 months? Are your finances in order? Do you have a supportive partner? Is it the season in your life for a pregnancy?
We are thrust with concepts early on of what it means to mother, what it means to get pregnant, and in what container this happens. People get pregnant intentionally and not, and how this happens is one of the most mystical aspects of human existence. It can seem very unfair, as you are preparing to abort and your best friend, who has been trying to get pregnant for months, simply cannot.
Have you had any signs from the universe since you got pregnant? The universe has many ways of speaking to us. Sometimes another person will channel messages. They may not even know you are pregnant, but something that they say gives you more clarity about your own situation. Signs may come by the way of your dreams, and in everyday life as issues of pregnancy may seem to be showing up everywhere. These signs show up to support you on your journey and help you to make the best decision that is right for you.
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant? Your initial, gut reaction is a good indication of your true feelings about this pregnancy. Once we leave the safe space of our own minds, external influences impact our choices.
Maybe, though, maybe you were happy when you saw the pregnancy test was positive–or excited. At least a little. Listen to that feeling, too. It is not to be ignored or brushed off.
Think back to the moment you saw the positive line on the pregnancy test. What was your immediate emotion/ reaction/ thought? This moment is often pure, honest, and real. It is the moment BEFORE all the other thoughts come flooding in, the opinions of others that we tell, and the rush of emotions and hormones start clouding the thinking. Your initial gut reaction is the truest form of your authentic feelings about your pregnancy. Were you happy initially, only to be hit by the hard truths of your reality? There are many outside factors that will impact your ability to keep a pregnancy and parent–but above all else, what does your heart say?
Gut Check Writing Prompt:
Spend a few minutes writing about the moment you saw the positive sign on your pregnancy test.
- What was your first emotion?
- What was your first thought?
- Did this change and shift over the next hour?
- What has your process been like? Have you told anyone? Did their responses change the way you initially felt about the pregnancy?
- Have you had any signs from the universe? What are they?
What are the factors surrounding your pregnancy?
Take a few moments to think about all these aspects.
- Do you want children someday? OR do you want more children someday?
- Do you have a supportive partner? Is it important for you to have a supportive partner?
- Who is in your social network? Who will be there to support you during and after the pregnancy?
- Are you secure in the place you are living? What will your living situation be over the next 24 months? Is this place a cozy nest? Or will it be difficult?
- Do you have an income or way to support yourself and the baby? Is money an issue? Do you have a secure financial stream or are there many unknowns over the next 24 months?
- How old are you? Do you feel you are too young or too old to be pregnant? Are you worried that this pregnancy may be your last shot at parenthood?
- Do you have kids already? Have you had abortions already? How do your current kids or past abortions factor into the decision you are making now?
- How would having a baby now factor into your professional life or career? Is this the right stage in your life for a baby? How would parenting impact your mission-driven dreams?
- If you have this baby, what would its life be like for the first year? For the first five years? Beyond? Will it have a present father? A safe home? What factors do you think are important to be present for a child to be well raised? Can you provide these?
When considering abortion, obsessive thoughts can fill our brains, taking us back and forth between deciding to parent and wanting to abort. Some people are 100% sure when they see the positive pregnancy test that they want abortion–there is no question, the decision is clear and simple. For most, it is much more complicated and nuanced. Maybe you desperately want a baby, but the timing is wrong, and the partner is inappropriate. Maybe there is something wrong with the pregnancy, and it is not medically advisable to continue. Perhaps you had sex with several partners over the month, and the paternity of the pregnancy is unknown.
You also might want to do a gut-check about the person who got you pregnant.
- Are they someone you trust?
- Can they be counted on to support you as you want to be supported?
- Do they stand up for you and have your best interests in mind?
- What do you need from them to better cope with the outcome of this pregnancy, whatever it may be?
It is important to us that you are certain you want to abort your pregnancy; because once you have taken your pills, there will be no turning back. If external factors make up most of your considerations, please try to remember that external factors can sometimes change. It is most important to do what feels right for your soul — the rest you can figure out when you get there. What is important is that you do what’s right for you–not what’s right for your bank account or what is best for the person who got you pregnant. This is a choice that only you can make, and whether you give birth, or have an abortion, both will happen to and inside your body. At the end of the day, it is you, and you are alone.